START HERE: The Essential Collection
LISTEN: if you’ve already been to my About page, then you already know that this newsletter is about the stuff nobody warns you about: aging immigrant parents who refuse technology, melting down over a chicken sandwich after your friend gets shot, paying $343 for a mailbox key, and the specific kind of exhaustion that comes from being the family’s designated adult.
It’s messy. It’s specific. It’s often written at 4am.
If you’re wondering whether this newsletter is for you, start with these 10 posts. Some are available to the public; others are only available with a subscription. No matter what, though, these posts are the ones that made readers say, “holy shit, I thought I was the only one,” or “this is way too relatable,” or “are you okay? (Seriously though, are you?)”
Property Walues
The one about my father that I can barely talk about, so I misspelled the title instead. 78% of you opened this one. Apparently, we’re all terrible sons together.
In the Dream Where I Keep Failing the JavaScript Test
What happens when your body starts keeping score and you can’t lie to yourself anymore? Also, the most popular post I’ve ever written, which tells you everything about this community.
The many ways to say my father is broken
I asked an AI chatbot to help me process my father’s decline. It gave me exactly what I needed: distance, structure, and 47 different ways to say the same unbearable thing.
The Sandwich that Broke Me
This is the one about how you can hold it together through actual tragedy, but completely unravel when Proposition Chicken takes 25 minutes. It’s never about the sandwich.
The Instacart Rebellion
Mom won’t use grocery delivery apps because “too expensive.” Instead, we spend four hours hitting three different stores. She buys “black chips.” I buy Cinnamon Cheerios. Neither of us has moral high ground.
Civil Ceremony, Civil War
Did I mention my parents got remarried? After a decade of divorce? Because of course they did. And of course, I found out the way I find out everything in this family: accidentally, years later, in the middle of an unrelated conversation.
The Farewell
Lulu Wang made a movie about the exact thing I’ve been living. I watched it and thought, “fuck, why didn’t I write this?” Then I remembered: I’ve been too busy living it to write it.
What I've been up to, Part 3
The one where I try to explain my parents’ entire existence through bullet points. Spoiler: You can’t. But watching me try is apparently very entertaining.
trying to sew up wounds that never heal
I found this in my drafts folder. I don’t remember writing it. I published it anyway because apparently Past Me knew some shit Present Me needed to hear.
My body is talking
Job hunting for months takes a toll on your body. Your jaw clenches—your stomach rebels. Your back goes out. This is the post about when your body finally stages an intervention.
What you just read is the brand.
Family dysfunction. Personal crisis. Dark humor about things that aren’t actually funny. Cultural gaps you could drive a truck through. And the specific exhaustion of being the “responsible one” while barely holding your own shit together.
If any of these posts made you think, “wait, is this my life too?” then welcome. You’re in the right place.
I publish every Thursday (usually around 4am PT, because that’s when the thoughts get loud). Most posts are for paid subscribers, but every few weeks I unlock one for everyone.
Subscribe for free to get occasional posts + access to this greatest hits collection.
Or become a paid subscriber ($5/month or $50/year) to get every messy, specific, too-personal story I write. All of them. Every Thursday. Forever. Or until I run out of family dysfunction, which—let’s be honest—isn’t happening.
P.S. - Yes, I use AI to help me write. No, it doesn’t write for me. Think of it as a creative defibrillator that shocks me back to life when the blank page wins. The mess is still 100% mine.