You're not in a great place, Ernie, and I hope you can find a way through, be it therapy or something else. +1 for Kate's suggestion of ASMR and keeping your phone away from you at night, but I'm guessing the issues run deeper, and I wish I knew the answer, but if I did, I wouldn't have the sleep issues that I do myself, so...*shrugs* Let me know if you want to talk (I've known Ernie for decades for all you out there who think that's a creepy thing to say in a comment).
So, you have likely tried all of these, but on the off chance that you haven't, I'll hit 'post' anyway...
Try ASMR! From another ADHD brain to yours. Better chemicals, and it also works on my neurospicy kid and non-neurospicy kid. Find some wood soup girl, gentlewhispering, or oddly soothing suit tailoring roleplays. Shit, find some weird mukbang (not my thing, but hey, you do you) ... just find whatever random sound makes the brain just interested enough to find out when the next random sound is coming. Also, if you don't get the tingly thing, then, well. Try some other genres. But if it gives you the icks, please ignore me. Also, people seem to like Endel, which has an insane number of sound modes, which may or may not fit your needs. Just... don't put the blue light shit in your eyes. Read on a dumb-screen kindle or something. The phone screen/apps are the worst.
This was beyond relatable. As a newly pregnant woman with ADHD (meaning I'm suddenly off my meds) who works as a freelancer (meaning no set schedule), I felt like you entered my soul and wrote part of my story. Thanks for sharing. You don't need fixing. But I do second Kate's Kindle reco and no phone in bed..though it may lead you to just tearing through some really good fiction so make sure it's a boring second rate book. I think it's a life long process - finding the things that work for us neuro-spicy individuals. And finding *many* things because we get so bored of the things that actually work. But hopefully there's some comfort in knowing that there are more of us out there :) I know it's helped me today.
You're not in a great place, Ernie, and I hope you can find a way through, be it therapy or something else. +1 for Kate's suggestion of ASMR and keeping your phone away from you at night, but I'm guessing the issues run deeper, and I wish I knew the answer, but if I did, I wouldn't have the sleep issues that I do myself, so...*shrugs* Let me know if you want to talk (I've known Ernie for decades for all you out there who think that's a creepy thing to say in a comment).
So, you have likely tried all of these, but on the off chance that you haven't, I'll hit 'post' anyway...
Try ASMR! From another ADHD brain to yours. Better chemicals, and it also works on my neurospicy kid and non-neurospicy kid. Find some wood soup girl, gentlewhispering, or oddly soothing suit tailoring roleplays. Shit, find some weird mukbang (not my thing, but hey, you do you) ... just find whatever random sound makes the brain just interested enough to find out when the next random sound is coming. Also, if you don't get the tingly thing, then, well. Try some other genres. But if it gives you the icks, please ignore me. Also, people seem to like Endel, which has an insane number of sound modes, which may or may not fit your needs. Just... don't put the blue light shit in your eyes. Read on a dumb-screen kindle or something. The phone screen/apps are the worst.
This was beyond relatable. As a newly pregnant woman with ADHD (meaning I'm suddenly off my meds) who works as a freelancer (meaning no set schedule), I felt like you entered my soul and wrote part of my story. Thanks for sharing. You don't need fixing. But I do second Kate's Kindle reco and no phone in bed..though it may lead you to just tearing through some really good fiction so make sure it's a boring second rate book. I think it's a life long process - finding the things that work for us neuro-spicy individuals. And finding *many* things because we get so bored of the things that actually work. But hopefully there's some comfort in knowing that there are more of us out there :) I know it's helped me today.